Saturday, August 28, 2010

A few years ago I had a great aunt who was living in an assisted care facility. She was sick with lupus(I know right?). My father and I would go and visit her, bring her a sandwich from her favorite place; sit and talk about life. One day when I walked in there was another woman in her room, apparently she had acquired a room mate.

This lady was clearly at death's door. Her skin was translucent, like parchment with thousands of tiny blue veins. Her eyes were the blue of a crisp fall morning. Her hair was unkempt and falling out. I said hello and went to walk past her. She grabbed my wrist and said "Jim? why don't you ever visit me anymore Jim. i tried to be a good mother to you, how is Marie? she's such a nice girl".

I tried to explain that I wasn't Jim, tried to get away from the vortex of despair howling behind those eyes. she wouldn't let go. She started to cry, saying she loved me and missed me. All I could do was say "I'm sorry Mom, I'm here now."

Finally a nurse came in and pulled her away, took her out into the hall. She stared at me until she was out of sight.

Feels fucking bad man.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. I know right? thanks for reading it though. I don't feel so alone.

  3. Good on you for going along. Makes you think.

  4. man, that sucks. I didn't even get to see my grampa before he died. Kind of puts it in perspective, I guess.